Snap your bog roll. Get matched with a complete stranger who is, right now, also on the toilet. Chat for 5 minutes about anything. Then flush it and carry on with your life. No names. No trace. No awkward morning after.
It's not complicated. You're already sitting down. That's the hard part done.
Open the app, point it at your loo roll. That's your ticket in. We don't make the rules. Actually we do. This is the rule.
Right now, somewhere nearby, someone else is also on the toilet. We put you together. We've thought about whether this is weird and decided it isn't. We're probably wrong.
Talk about literally anything. The meaning of life. Whether a Jaffa Cake is a biscuit. Why you're still here. Clock's ticking.
Save the chat as text, an AI voiceover, or a fully generated video. Some conversations deserve to outlive the flush.
We put genuine engineering effort into this. Whether that's admirable or tragic is up to you.
No names, no profiles, no LinkedIn requests. Nobody will ever know it was you. Unless you tell them, which you probably will.
Like a speed date, but you're both on the toilet and neither of you can leave. Actually, exactly like some speed dates.
Save your chat as a dramatic AI voiceover or a generated video replay. We trained artificial intelligence to do voices for toilet conversations. The researchers who built it think it's being used for something else.
Your toilet roll photo is your identity. Andrex? Tesco Value? Says more about you than any dating profile ever could.
Every saved chat lives in your gallery. Two toilet rolls, a date, and a preview. It's like a photo album, but nobody wants to see it at Christmas.
Most conversations are not worth keeping. Some are. You'll know which is which about 30 seconds in.
Saved to your gallery with both bog rolls as the cover art, a date, and a preview of the chat. It's basically a scrapbook. Your grandchildren will find it one day.
AI picks two random voices and performs your conversation back to you as a full dramatic dialogue. Picture a BBC Radio 4 drama, except the entire script was written on the toilet. Which, to be fair, describes a lot of BBC Radio 4.
AI generates an animated replay with random characters acting out your conversation. It's like a short film, except the entire screenplay was written in a toilet. Which, to be fair, describes most British cinema.
Free. No sign-up. No dignity required.
Just you, your phone, and whatever Tesco had left on the shelf.
Someone is on it right now. Sat exactly where you are. Staring at their phone. Waiting.